I don’t have any labs until next week (9am-12pm on Tuesday and 9:30am-12:30pm on Thursday) hence the fact that I’m not at school yet (class at 1pm) and the fact that I’m blogging.
I was just musing while I was saying hi to a friend over msn. And I was just wondering. If I had the chance to look into my own future, would I? Like if I was sat down and all I had to do was lift a sheet off of a cosmic television screen and watch my own life play out right in front of my eyes, would I take it? Would I want to know if I’m happy in five years? Would I want to know ahead of time if I’m making the right choice with what I want to do with the rest of my life? Would I want to know if I’m still friends with the people I know and love or would I rather not know in the event that we aren’t? Would I want to know if I have the 2.3 children, a white picket fence, a small two-story house in the middle of the suburbs with a cat? Would I want to know if and how everything I do right now affects my future and what kind of consequences it has?
I thought about it. I did. I thought about how things would be different, how I would attempt to change things if I knew how things played out in the end. I mean, what if that isn’t supposed to be my future, but once I decide to look, it changes to the reflect the fact that I do see it and then all the changes I make in order to avoid it leads me straight to disaster? This is possibly too much thought processing for 9:34am on a lovely Thursday morning, I apologize to myself for that.
I would love to say that I wouldn’t want to look, that I wouldn’t want to peek and see if wanting to go into nursing was the right thing to do, or see if I end up writing a bestselling novel. I would love to say that I would be content not knowing. But, if I was given the chance to see, I’m not sure that I wouldn’t take a peek. Curiosity does win over sometimes. Then again, I don’t know. Probably because there isn’t such a thing as a cosmic television set or a working crystal ball – probably a good thing, in the event that I ruin my own future.
Don’t you just love when ideas like that happen? They make your mind swirl with so many thoughts. As curious as I would be, I wouldn’t want to look either. If you were to watch it, then try to change it, what if the cosmic television knew you were going to watch it and played your future as if you were attempting to change it. Oh boy, ideas everywhere. Good thing there isn’t a television like that.
I wouldn’t look either. Because even if you looked you wouldn’t know what you were clearly thinking or feeling in that moment.
I’m glad there’s no such way to look into the future, so I don’t have to worry about it! But I am back and forth – I would and I wouldn’t. Like, I’d love to know if I’m going to live for the next 70 years, but I don’t want to know who I get married to or which of my immediate family will go first.
gosh, now you’ve got me thinking!