This first one occurred after I had lunch and after I went and flossed my teeth (… yes, I floss my teeth at work… I didn’t feel like walking around with green vegetables stuck between my teeth!). (Happened today.)

[random talking and then…]
D: Hey Michelle…
M: Yeah?
S: You’ve got blood on your teeth…
M: … -blinks and silently curses flossing-
D: You’re like a Twilight vampire!!
S: Cover your neck, she’s going to bite you.
M: I hate both of you. … STOP LAUGHING.

This one occurred with someone else at work, due to the fact that they were curious about how much longer I was going to stay… (Happened today.)

J: Michelle!
M: Good morning.
J: Just a few more weeks left for you, right? Another 2 months?
M: … No, my last day is in a few weeks. On the 4th.
J: I thought school doesn’t start until September.
M:  Yeah, it’s August…
J: [blank stare] Really?!
M: … It’s been August for over 17 days now, it’s the 18th.
J: Oh, I guess I should start making corrections then…
M: You have fun with that.

And another conversation… (Happened today.)

A: Your name tag’s missing your photo, Michelle.
M: It’s also missing my name…
A: What?! Let’s see!
M: [shows name tag]
A: Hey, at least you don’t have a photo that looks like this…
M: [laughs at mug shot] Good job…
A: … Thanks, “Visitor”*

* I really ought to remember that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And one last one… (From yesterday.)

S: So, I was thinking, that boys are stupid and I can’t believe I’m dating that complete and utter moron.
M: … What did he do now?
S: He’s sleeping. In the middle of the day. Instead of texting me. Because apparently sleep is more important because he stayed up all night playing some stupid video game.
M: Uh huh… Have you told him that this bothers you?
S: Why, he should know this!
M: … Like you said “boys are stupid”. [Yes, I did air quotes.] You should try telling him that it bothers you.
S: Do you think that’ll work?
M: Well it’s better than assuming he knows.
S: I can’t believe I’m taking advice from a child…
M: … I’m older than you.
S: Oh yeah…