arguments – Imaginary Sunshine

I want off this roller coaster. Now.

Michelle — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 04:24:16 +0000

Wednesday… What can I say about Wednesday?

Work Issues…
Well, for starters, it was 40 degrees today. Celsius, for all you people thinking “Zomg, that’s so cold!” as that would be 4.5C – which is almost freezing! – if that was 40F. But no, it was 40C, which is 104F. Yeah, I was incredibly not impressed. My general office area is like a neat little freezer, which I fully approve of, in terms of temperature. I heart the air conditioning at work. It’s only cold because it has to be kept cool (my cubicle is in the same area as the company servers). The rest of the building was piping hot. Plus, it still smells like tar because the roof is still getting done. Oh, and the roof people? They somehow get chunks of stuff into the building and falling onto the floor and stairs. I am not impressed. At all.

Work was kind of hellish. People from Building B realized twice today that they had sent me old(er) documents that had all the data that I was entering. Each of those original documents took a week each as I needed to collect the rest of the data, enter it in, double check everything and then it gets checked off. I had moved on from both of those files about 2 weeks ago. And now they decided to go “Oh hey, we have a newer copy of the data – sorry about that”. So I spent a lot of today cross-referencing data and really wanting to pull my hair out.

Boyfriend…
And to make matters worse, I had a fight with Clay today. While I was cross-referencing, going in and out of meetings and really wanting to pull my hair out. Emotionally, I was just drained for most of today. I had lunch late, I wasn’t happy for most of today. Mostly because of work, and then because of the fight. But we worked through that (the fight, not the work). I still have more cross-referencing to do, but at least I’m not longer fighting with him. I mean, looking back, the fight was pretty stupid. Although, looking back on most of the fights we’ve had… Most of them have been pretty stupid. Of course, some of them have been valid, but for the most part, we have fights over really stupid things. Sigh. But, we’re not fighting any longer. Which is good, because I hate fighting with him, or anyone else for that matter.

Crying…
My dad was going on and on about my weight and how much I eat today during dinner. I ended up in tears over it because he just wouldn’t stop it. I was told by him that I was being dramatic and that I should stop trying to seek attention. Don’t really want to get into it so…

Crafting, but shh….
Moving on… I’ve been working on a top secret project lately, that will get posted over at Chelle-Chelle.com when it’s done (and given away!). I’ve been keeping mum on it since I don’t want to spoil a certain friend’s birthday surprise before her party. Of course, C, if you’re reading this, you obviously know it’s about you. But luckily, I haven’t told any of our mutual friends about it yet. So it’s being kept a secret for now. (I’m impressing myself so far, normally I can’t wait to share my present ideas – I think I’ve grown up a bit!). So I’m quite excited to see friends, and friends of friends, this weekend. I need to get out more and do something, you know? I feel so lazy, laying about my house and just playing with my dolly. Although, to be fair, at her price, I’d better be damn well playing with her! She’s not paid to look pretty, after all.

Anticipated new arrival…
Speaking of dolls… My second Blythe (and first EBL!) is currently in Canada! Canada Post finally updated with her status, after having her as ‘just left origin country’ for over 24 hours (like it takes 24 hours to fly from Tokyo to BC!). But she’s finally in Canada. I just need to wait for her to get through customs before she gets delivered. I’m so, so, so excited for her to arrive (even though I just paid for her on Sunday, she’s already in the country! I’m totally in love with EMS shipping!), the shipping time has been just so fast! Now it just depends on how fast Customs wants to be for me. The last time I got a package from overseas, it was a set of stuffies from my uncle in Hong Kong, it took a month to arrive. They picked regular air mail though, which I suppose explains it. It kicked around customs for a while and the box got opened, but everything was there so I was pretty damn happy. I always get really excited for mail that I know is coming to arrive. Especially when it comes with cute things inside. I do have a name picked out for her, but I’m going to wait until I get her in my hands to see if her name fits her or not. Still, so excited! And beyond talking about doll purchases, all other doll posts will go onto my dolly blog, Little Miss Sophie, instead of here.

Anyways… How was your Wednesday? I hope it went better than mine did!

I’m not like “everyone else”

Michelle — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:55:48 +0000

Hey everyone, thanks for the concern about yesterday. (Caity, sorry there wasn’t a block of Michelle text waiting for you!)

So… Sunday. I went to bed like really late, I stayed up to talk to Clay and then I fell asleep on him (I do this a lot, by the way), which wasn’t my intention at all. Then I woke up again at probably around 3:30am and we started talking again. And at this point, I’m like wide awake. I went to bed at around 1am-ish, so I only got a little over an hour of sleep. But I’m like wired, totally awake, and I stayed up until about… 6am, if memory serves. I said good night, head hit the pillow and I was out like a light. I woke up at around 10am, so I had a little over five hours of sleep in total to function on for Sunday. Which is never a good thing. But I did pretty okay in terms of being able to function.

My family and I went to my sister’s show (she’s in a show choir, so that was really awesome, they did a bunch of classics and some songs from musicals), so that was nice. Everything was fine up until sometime in the evening when my dad started complaining about the show (he didn’t know any of the songs, so he didn’t enjoy it as he also didn’t understand the lyrics as well) and how he had to go and how hot it was yesterday and then he got really mad at me for not putting something back (an exacto knife, if anyone’s curious – there’s like one in every room of my house – don’t ask why). And it wasn’t me that had moved it, so I was trying to defend myself and he just cuts me off and goes off about how I just always say that it isn’t me, even though he just knows that it always is me.

(Turns out that it was my mom that moved it and didn’t put it back – he didn’t apologize, he also didn’t yell at her, he just stalked off.)

So my rather cheerful mood just bottomed out after that. Hence last night’s entry. Which was all of like… Fourteen words.

So Monday! It was super sunny today and very hot at work. Luckily my cubicle is in an area with air conditioning – however it just makes everywhere else in the building seem very hot. I didn’t have a whole lot to do today. I had actually had stuff to do from 8am to about 1pm, but after that there wasn’t very much and I couldn’t find my boss anywhere to see if there was anything else he’d like for me to work on as he was in a meeting until about five minutes before I had to leave. So I wasn’t very productive today. I stayed hydrated, read the news online, did all my work, walked around, talked. It was… lazily productive, I’d say. Which isn’t saying a whole hell of a lot. But I tried to do more work, but I wasn’t about to interrupt the meeting since it was important.

But coming home was okay, I fell asleep in the car since it was so hot (even with the window down). However, everything fell apart once it was dinner time. Because my dad decided it was at that point that would be best to start asking me why I’m not applying for nursing classes for this September. The answer: I wasn’t eligible to apply for the program at my school when they were taking applications (in December). And then there was the question of why that wasn’t possible. And how I never plan anything. And how I’m not serious enough for school. And how everyone else can do a Bachelor’s degree in four years, instead of five like me (which is kind of funny… Considering both of my sisters did their BSc’s in five years instead of four – and I don’t think any of my friends are on the path to being able to complete their Bachelors in four years right now anyways!). And went on and on and on and on about that.

I mean, sure, it’s good that my dad cares about my education. I guess. But at the same time, he asked me the exact same question 3 times in 30 minutes. The exact same question. I answered it in the exact same way each time. My answer did not change, at all. And every single time I answered the question (about why I didn’t have enough credits, etc.) he got angrier and angrier. He actually came out and said that he thought I was “doing this” (i.e. taking more than four years to complete a degree) to spite him. Like I really see the connection between my completing a degree, graduating and getting a full time job and… him.

But to leave off on a less… I-am-upset note, here’s a text message that I sent to Kelsey today:

I’m learning the hard way how stupid people can be. How hard is it to understand that something cannot be on and off at the same time?

How did your Monday go?

What do you do with a B.A. in English?

Michelle — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:24:20 +0000

Bonus points if you know where the post title came from!

My biology lab this morning was supposed to go from 9am to 12pm. Which is all fine and dandy. Except, of course, the fact that it didn’t. I got there, handed in my lab report from the experiment last week and then got my grade (as of this instance) for the lab and left. At 9:20am. My next class? At 1pm.

Anyways… Right now I’m either ignoring Clay or he’s ignoring me, I’m not sure which at the moment (we’re odd like that). But he’s taking his shitastic mood out on me, which I’m not remotely impressed by so I’ve been throwing myself (figuratively, of course) into schoolwork. Which is a good thing, given that I have a midterm next Thursday and I still have three more assignments to get done for that class (chapters 8, 9 and 10 questions – whoot!). I’m about half-way through chapter 8 questions at the moment. I’ve decided to do a chapter a day and so far that’s been working out for me, yay. So get it all done by Thursday evening, catchup on everything throughout the week, get everything done by 11:59pm on Friday and then it’s noveling time, come 12:00am November 1st.

Questions for today:
1. Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this November?
2. Is this your first time? How many years have you done it?
3. What genre(s) does your novel fall under?

My answers:
1. Yes, obviously!
2. It’ll be my fourth year.
3. This year I’m detaching myself from romantic historical fantasy and it’s going to be literary fiction and chock full of teen angst in the form of troubled teenagers. And instead of doing it in third person (limited omniscience), it’s going to be first person, but the narrator changes depending on which chapter it is (there’s only one female character, the rest are male).

The morning after (sort of)

Michelle — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:39:21 +0000

@ Dane – No, my parents don’t know that I’m dating Clay. There’s quite a few reasons for this, actually. He works at the same company as my mom (which is how I met him). He’s older than me (a little over 5 years). He doesn’t have a post secondary degree. But all in all, that all pales in the face of the fact that he’s not Asian. More importantly, he’s not Chinese and he can’t speak Cantonese or Mandarin. And that’s a really big thing to my father (and secondarily, my mom – although I think she’d rather I be happy than married to someone ‘perfect’ who makes my life a living hell). I’d tell them about it for a number of reasons. If the relationship gets serious (i.e. engagement rings, moving in together), then I’d tell them about it. I would certainly tell them before getting married because my mom’s already convinced that I’m going to get married to someone and not tell her or invite her to the wedding. Which kind of says volumes about the kind of relationship that I have with my parents. It’s not a perfect situation, but then nothing ever really is. I mean, even with a relationship half-assed detailed in a blog, I still can’t tell you when the relationship really started. Was it the day that I asked him out? Was it the day that he kissed me? Or maybe it was the day of the first hug, or the first date, or the first text message. I just don’t know. And I don’t think I’d very much like to explain a relationship to my parents (with him present) if at any given moment, they could ask “So when did you two start seeing each other?” and one of us answers with May 10th and the other with September 7th.

@ Georgina – I possibly said some really mean stuff last night. But then again… I haven’t seen him for 7 weeks. And yeah… If you read back in my blog, you’ll realize that we average probably around one argument maybe every two weeks? Well lately it’s been more like three, but still. We have arguments often. Usually he’s the one saying that he’s sorry though… because usually I’m pissed at him for canceling on me. But…

I stayed up until 3am or so talking to him last night. I didn’t log off my computer until about 2:45am. I apologized (nicely, might I add). He apologized as well (for just being a general ass). And we talked things through and just really explained how we felt to the other party. And it was a good conversation. He’s feeling pressure at work because he’s known for a while that he’s going to have a shitload of new responsibilities as he’s going to be running the shift once R leaves work. Plus, he’s playing World of Warcraft (… silly, silly, stupid boy). He misses me, but things come up. There’s birthdays and car emergencies that belong to his best friend. And there’s video games and movies and family nights. And I get it, I do. He’s like superglued to his family and that’s nice. It’s like a Hallmark greeting card. I never had the loving family experience that he’s had and he’s close to them – and while I do understand that, and he knows that I understand that, I did spend the better part of half an hour completely talking about how it’s ridiculous and I either need to become a higher priority or he can have a nice life. Ultimatums are unfair, they are. But at least they get his ass in gear as we’re currently planning on seeing each other next weekend (and then weekend after is my birthday party and he knows that I want him there). So we’ll see.

And the more mundane part of my day:

I went to bed at around 3am. Woke up at 7am to go shopping with my mother. We bought this cordless phones set (4 handsets, 3 chargers, 1 charger-answering machine combo) for $100. We did some grocery shopping, I went to the library to pick up my hold. Later, we headed out to an outlet store before going to the airport to pick up my sister. I ended up getting three hoodies for under $25, which was fairly decent, I thought. There’s a pink one that I absolutely loved and it fit nicely too (it’s light pink with a cherry print all over it). I also got a plain navy blue one that was very snuggly and a light turquoise hoodie that has small white polka dots all over it. My mom ended up getting a dress suit for $20 (came with a jacket, a skirt and a pair of pants).

I ended up catching up on my psychology notes. All I have left to do (‘all’, hah) is biology notes, a biology assignment and two family studies assignments. And I want to get it all done by Sunday evening. I’m definitely crossing my fingers.