sleep deprivation – Imaginary Sunshine

NCLEX stress

Michelle — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 18:30:12 +0000

Since last summer, I’ve owned NCLEX study materials. I bought a few books off of Amazon and then they sat on my shelf for the better part of the summer. And then all through term 5. And, if I’m being honest, they moved with me for my first term 6 practicum and sat on a shelf looking pretty. Now they’re laid out in front of me and I’ve flagged many, many pages as I go through the review process, it’s a bit daunting to think that I’ve learned this much over the course of 3 years.

Many of my classmates have opted to sign up for NCLEX review courses that typically go for 3-5 days. But these review courses are often $400-500USD, which with the current exchange rate makes them incredibly more expensive (hello, poor Canadian dollar!) and that just makes signing up for one of these courses completely unattainable for me, at this time. While I’d love to be able to spend over $600CDN on an intensive review courses, there is the matter of a cash flow issue for me at this time. As in, I just don’t have it. Luckily, many others have passed the NCLEX without attending fancy review courses, and I will be making out a study schedule for myself when the term is over. I don’t want to wait too long after I’m done the program to write it, in fear of all that knowledge just falling out. It’s been a (little) while since I’ve done mental health, or maternity and pediatrics, that I really need to get my mind wrapped around that knowledge again (especially the medications, oy the medications!).

You’ll just have to excuse me as I go mostly silent on the internet again as I get to worrying and stressing over the NCLEX!

Another completed term

Michelle — Sat, 10 May 2014 04:19:38 +0000

I wrote my last final of my fourth term of nursing school yesterday. It’s an amazing feeling to be another term closer to the goal – graduation, becoming licensed, becoming a registered nurse. It has been an incredibly difficult fourth term. The learning curve is steeper, the depth of knowledge I’ve needed to have is a lot more than ever before. Expectations on me have risen while my own standards for myself have gone up at a stellar rate. But I got through it,through a lot of hard work and possibly more than a few sleepless nights. When I was going over my final clinical evaluation with my instructor, she told me the following “You study too much, Michelle. You work too hard.” Because nursing school, despite what it seems to do, shouldn’t be the be all and end all of my social life. Even though it is, although I did manage to make some time for friends and the boyfriend throughout the term. I don’t want to be someone who barely scraps through nursing school, and I don’t think anyone would want a nurse who did that. So I hold myself at high standards that even my fellow over-achiever classmates think are impossibly high standards.

My spring/summer classes are forthcoming. One actually started the first week of April (my school doesn’t understand what the phrase “summer” class means) while the other two will be starting on Monday, the 12th. In the meantime, I’ve been taking my instructor’s advice and just taking a break, even if it is just for a little bit.

Life, in general, has been pretty good to me. I’m confident that I’ve been able to pass all of my classes, I working on my specialty nursing certificate right now (the class I started in April goes towards that), I finally read something for fun for the first time in what seems to be ages… and I’m in a good place right now. I’ve been knitting a lot, but being absolutely horrible ta keeping my crafts blog updated. I’ve been blogging a lot, but just not there, and I’ve just been keeping busy. The chronicles of Michelle took a backseat this term because, in all honesty, the journal of me just didn’t seem to be important over things like studying, or patient research, or attempting to get to bed by 9am before a clinical day (when I woke up at 4:30am).

My plans for the summer will of course include working on my three online classes. I’m also hoping to start volunteering again, do a lot of crafting, be a little bit more active with the blogging, and, of course, spend time with friends and family. I find as I get older, it’s harder to do that. Friends move away, they start working full time or part time with odd hours, they’re still in school. And then there’s me, who doesn’t feel like hanging out at night when I’d been up since 4:30am. Is this how my life is going to look when I graduate and I’m working shift work for real? Probably. But the thing is… I love nursing. I found out this term that I really enjoy complex wound care. That’s probably a rather disturbingly morbid thing to day, but I love wound irrigation and packing wounds. Possibly the most fun thing I did throughout the entire term. I will leave you with that thought… because I can.

My life, currently

Michelle — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 02:34:36 +0000

School, school and more school.

Finals are coming up soon. I have 2 more days of clinical left, 1 week of classes and then 1 week of finals! People in my class (class = everyone that started the program with me) are talking about going out to the pub after the last final (patho). It ends at 12:30pm – but it’s always happy hour somewhere in the world.

Protected: You called me up again just to break me like a promise

Michelle — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 02:57:55 +0000

Back into the swing of things

Michelle — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 04:06:21 +0000

And it’s almost like…

I didn’t get a break at all…

Life as a nursing student has been busy! I’ve been busy as the term quickly turned into a lot of work. I just turned in my first paper of the term, I’ve been doing loads of readings every single day, doing research for a presentation (first one of the term – next week!) and just trying to enjoy the process. I’ve had clinical since my last blog entry and I’ve had some wonderful patients so far. I’m really looking forward to getting to do more (removing Foley catheters, nasogastric tubes, IVs/saline locks, pulling out drains) in the coming weeks. This week in lab we’re learning about checking blood glucose so I’m getting my finger pricked tomorrow and I shall see what my glucose levels are at!

Finishing term 1 of Nursing School & Winter Holidays!

Michelle — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 00:50:32 +0000

It’s been so long since I last blogged and I apologize! I’ve been super busy with school and then finals (which ended last Thursday!). Since the last time I blogged, I had:

Written my last pathophysiology midterm
Completed & got my professional portfolio back (93%)
Did my presentation on MRSA[1. Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus]
Handed in and got my last paper back (95%)
Completed clinical (and passed – it’s a pass-fail course)
Attended pharmacology seminars (so boring…)
Wrote five finals

I’ve waiting on my final grades to come back, but I had done a little bit of math work and if I had gotten 0% on all my finals, I’d still be sitting at a 65% GPA so… I’m not entirely too worried about passing or not! It’s nice to finally get a decently long break (just over three weeks) of doing nothingness. Or rather, doing nothing related to nursing and nursing school!

My first day off from school, I went to the mall at 9:30am and was out by about 11:00am. I got almost all of my shopping done in one day, didn’t spend as much as I thought I was going to (always a good thing!). The last bit of shopping I needed to do (I needed candy canes) was done at the dollar store near my house. Of course I ended up buying more than a $1 box of candy canes… I also bought holiday-themed cupcake liners, translucent gift bags (for cookie gifting) and Christmas-themed and Angry Birds colouring books (not for myself…). I love the dollar store by my house though, the ladies that work there know me by face now so we chat a bit whenever I’m at the register or poking around the store.

Because it’s the holidays, I’ve been doing a lot of baking, which is both good and bad. I somehow got roped into doing a cookie exchange at my summer work place (where my mom works), so I got to bake 6 dozen cookies and I get 6 dozen cookies back, each dozen is made by someone different. So today I got a bunch of delicious things. Some had chocolates and marshmallows, some you could just smell the ginger. Delicious! I’m quite pleased, although I did notice that I had the best presentation overall. I made dinosaur and dinosaur print sugar cookies:

The recipe is from Betty Crocker’s The Big Book of Cookies that I got for my birthday back in November but I did adjust it a bit (taking out some ingredients because I didn’t have them on hand) and they still turned out pretty good. The icing is just royal icing (alternatively, you can buy premade icing that comes in containers that look like school glue bottles). I was originally going to individually ice the cookies and then flood them to give them the nice icing layer, but I added a wee bit too much water to my powdered sugar, so it was too watery. So instead, I just picked up each cookie, lightly dip the surface into the icing and then let any excess drip off before putting them onto the wax paper to dry. It worked out well and was a lot faster than individually icing and flooding 6 dozen cookies.

In other baking news, I’ve also made 2 dozen shortbread (will make more!) and have also made one and a half dozen chocolate fudge cupcakes. So much baking! I love baking though, and I don’t often get the chance (or have the time!) to do it during the school year. Especially not with nursing school.

I’ve also spent some time this past weekend with a lovely group of ladies who also share a love of dollies. We had fun exchanging Santa Swap presents. I got a new mug and a bunch of lovely miniature ornaments, chocolates and stationary. I gave a box of chocolates, some handmade things for the dolls, a cute toque with a pompom, a miniature art easel and a Littlest Pet Shop Teensies set that was very well received! I just love shopping for other people, it’s a lot more fun (and easier to spend money!) when it’s not for me.

But today Value Village was having a 50% off clothing (and some other departments) sale for those who have membership cards (and of course, I have one). I went with my sister, who was going to look for pants. I went through housewares, crafts and toys before making my way to the clothing section. I ended up getting 4 cardigans (some looked like they’d never been worn – two still had original store price tags) and 1 sweater for $17 before taxes. My sister got a pair of Guess jeans for $3 (remnants of the original paper tag were still on the jeans, they didn’t look worn at all!). There’ll be other 50% off days – last time there was one, I focused only on pants and it’s a good thing too because I find myself getting overwhelmed if I go and really look through more than one clothing section. There’s just too much stuff everywhere!

Overall it was a good shopping day at VV. The only sweater I bought today is a fairly thin one (100% cotton, probably more meant for spring or summer) that’s light green and from Banana Republic – I generally don’t find Banana Republic at low prices at VV or in good condition, but this one fit the bill as it was originally $4.99 (so down to $2.50) and it was in great condition with no pilling whatsoever. One of my cardigans is 100% cream-coloured lambswool from Great Britain and it was my most expensive buy today at $5 (down from $9.99). I love cardigans, but I’ve had to get rid of some recently due to them being too threadbare and really well-loved. I’ll have photos of what I bought after everything’s gone through the wash!

Lastly that’s new is that I actually redeemed some points! I think most credit cards attached to banks have this, but whenever I use my credit card, I got a point for every dollar that I spend. I’ve had my credit card since I was 19 (and could have my own), but I hadn’t used any points at all. There were bonus points for the first month that I had it, bonus for my first transaction, etc. I ended up redeeming for gift cards (none of the merchandise options seemed good). I ended up redeeming for a $100 gift card for Sears (as my half of my joint present to my mom for Christmas – my sister is chipping in $100 cash as my mom wants to buy a new vacuum cleaner) and a $50 gift card for La Vie en Rose (for me!) and I still have points left over. I’m pretty sure I’ll end up redeeming more points late for more gift cards for myself (I really want to get an e-reader and I’ve been eyeing the Kobo Glo but I don’t have enough in gift cards just yet), alternatively I’d redeem for “financial rewards” and just get it in cash for general shopping purposes. It’s kind of like getting “free money” – which is nice considering I never leave a balance on my card so they’ve never gotten any interest from me. Always very nice to be responsible!

Oh, and I did my nails for the first time since August (when I started school). It’s nice being able to keep nail polish on for more than 5 days (seeing as how I can’t have polish on my nails at the hospital). Very nice indeed!

Study Mode: On

Michelle — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 08:22:02 +0000

Not a whole lot to report, but I have the urge to just blog right now. Granted, I’m starting this at 11:57pm on Friday… So yay, this’ll be posted on Saturday, of course. I don’t know why I felt the need to mention that, I mean, you can tell by the date stamp when this post goes up. I may schedule posts over at BlytheLife.com (which is the only reason why posts go up three days a week over there, because I schedule everything like a month in advance, because I’m cool like that), but I don’t do that here. Mostly because it’s my personal blog and it seems weird to schedule posts for that? I mean, I used to do ‘sponsored’ posts here, but I haven’t done that in ages. Mostly because people don’t seem to think that bloggers are worth as much money (for the most part), so all my posts are all just written for me now (yay).

And now I’m all rambling…

So I’ve been working on study notes for the last week. I actually got up early enough to head out to school on Tuesday to study in the library. All the other days I either woke up around 8am (when I wanted to be at school already) so I just stayed at home to study. Which worked well, because I love the fact that I can just stay in my room in my pjs and comfy fleecy robe (which is warm!) and just work away on my laptop. I’ve also been watching podcasts during my study breaks (and listening to them as well). Mostly knitting related, because I’ve suddenly fallen back into knitting (I did take a loooong break without knitting a darn thing). I haven’t been able to find any crocheting podcasts that I like. I’m a big fan of the ones with video, not just audio, because I like getting to see the projects. I also caught up on the Savage Love podcast. Because who doesn’t like to listen to Dan Savage answer his caller’s questions about sex? (The answer: prudes.)

I’m actually ahead of my studying schedule. I finished all my study notes for zoogeography & paleogeology. I’m almost done going through learning goals for my climate change class (whoot). I finished the notes for my parasitology take-home final, which is another essay. I did a little bit of outline for that paper, not as much as I would have liked to have done, but I did most of it. I’m hoping to finish the climate change study notes & parasitology paper outlining Saturday morning, because I’ll be going out for lunch with the family and then listening to my sister’s choir sing Christmas carols in the mall (horrible acoustics there, just got to say…).

I got an email from an offlinefriend asking me why I never blog about Clay anymore… Not sure if she was more concerned or if she was just being nosy. I’m going to go with concerned, because being nosy is never cool. There’s not really a whole lot to report on the boyfriend front. We are still together, we had our third anniversary in September of this year. He works a stupid amount of hours (like seriously stupid amount of hours) and I spend a lot of time studying. Well, I always have an abundance of free time to spend with him, but he works what feels like 24/7. It’s probably closer to like 12-16/7, but that’s still a lot of hours in a week and he does need to sleep. I’ve also been using my sadly boyfriend-free time to work on his Christmas present. It’s going to be awesome. And he’s going to love it. Mostly because I say that he will… I’m really trying to put together something thoughtful and practical and useful and all those things. But I always end up coming up with something impractical, but still super awesome. So we’ll see how that goes… Wow, rambling. We also don’t live in the same city (maybe ~30-45min drive, depending on the the traffic, so it does make things difficult at times. But I don’t know, I haven’t been all gushy about the time that we do spend together, because if I did, my blog posts would be like “So, I saw the boyfriend and we did A and he made me B for dinner.” and I would also have to totally censor my blog posts from some of the activities that occur, for obvious reasons… And with that… Change of topics!

This didn’t really get mentioned on the blog, but my dad went away on vacation/trip/whatever for three months. He went to visit relatives and whatnot. Came back with a lot of gifts, which is always appreciated. He was away during my birthday so he brought me back this:

Yes, it is another Blythe doll. (He also got me another one, but she’s under the tree for Christmas.) The doll’s stock name is Simply Bubble Boom. She’s a limited edition doll, at 1500 dolls in this model. She was actually part of a trio of crime-fighting skaters. Yes, I said skaters. She came with some super cute orange skates, not pictured. The other doll that my dad got me for my Christmas present was Simply Sparkly Spark (who has blue hair!) and the last of the trio (that I’m not getting) is Simply Thumpty Thump (who has a bright purple hair colour). I’m really happy with her. Her hair is a neon reddish-orange, so it looks rather pink in some lights and rather orange in others. Which is kind of really awesome. I decided name her Moxie, and she is my 8th Blythe doll and first in the FBL mold.

(For those who don’t really like Blythes or just dolls in general; sorry about the photo and the blurb… But I like ’em! And I do try to restrict dolly talk to the designated blog when I can. But I was just super pleased at getting a new doll for my birthday… and there will probably be photos of my Christmas doll too.)

On eating habits and another final DONE.

Michelle — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 05:40:07 +0000

I’m going to have to admit: I may have giggled a little when I read the comments on my last (donut) blog entry about how it’s totally nutritious and a well-deserved treat. I’ll save you all from seeing what I ate for lunch today because it was practically soaking in oil, but oh so delicious, if not probably enough calories to last me an entire week. I try so hard to not be a good example.

I also baked cookies this morning. Nom nom nom.

My day went as follows: woke up at 5am, made breakfast, baked cookies, put cookies on cooling rack, ran around like a mad person getting ready and tossing a bagel into my bag (I put cream cheese on it last night – I anticipate madness), got to school at a ridiculous time, wrote an 8:30am statistics final (I feel confident that I did not fail the course!), hung around, chatted with friends post-final, listened to people hyperventilate, went home, ate my ~~disgusting~~ nutritious lunch, watched tv (omg, tv), napped, ate dinner, watched tv (!!!), knitted, drank tea, now I’m writing this blog. I may have left out a few things, but seriously, most chill day ever (considering I also wrote a final today).

In essence, I relaxed for the rest of the day after my stats final. My prof is awesome for not being a total evil person for wanting us all to fail! Three cheers for Dr. B! (I also wrote him a good review in my instructor’s evaluations).

But I still have two more finals to write – I’m going to be off to school tomorrow to study for oceanography (yet another required course – sort of, I need oceanography credits, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be that class, but I did spend $500+ on the course, so I’d better pass the darn thing!) and for my phytogeography class (which is made of utter love I tell you, love!). Two more finals before I’m free… It makes it seem like I don’t like school – which isn’t the case. I like getting an education, I hate having such a huge portion of my grade dependent on less than 3 hours.

One down, six more to go!

Michelle — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 02:32:09 +0000

I’ve completed one midterm so far, yay! It was the first (of three) oceanography midterm that I had.

Between now and the end of the term I have:

6 more midterms
1 major term paper
2 ecology lab reports
2 statistics lab reports
1 week off (!!!) for reading break
Many stats and oceanography assignments
Many ecology quizzes and assignments
Not enough sleep

Today was an alright day though. I slept in a little (until around 8am, which is later than my usual 5:30am!), I went and got awful passport photos taken (heh) and got the forms. I went to a thrift store with my sister and didn’t find anything I wanted (they had some nice old sewing machines, but they were $50 each and were super heavy and not near outlets at all for trying them out – and I had no car with me). I also went to the grocery store and bought several bags of bagels ($1/ea, most of them went into my freezer), some lunch meat (chicken), brown sugar (for baking) and Crispers. Everything was sold at a dollar, mmm, I love it when stores have sales!

So now that I have food for lunch purposes (yay) and snack foods (for studying aids), I’m set for at least a couple of weeks (at least until my mid-term break).

I’ve been subjected to my sister’s home-buying related rants (and raves) as my father’s gone off his rocker regarding the fact that his daughter is invest in real estate and he doesn’t like that because… it means that she’s not moving back home. Which I think is fine, because why else did she move out to begin with? (Beyond the fact that she moved out to e closer to her work place…)

But regardless… Life’s been good so far. I finished one midterm, I didn’t have a feeling of impending doom of failure in my stomach when I was done (I always feel like this is a very important thing). Next week I need to get a stats lab report, a stats assignment and ecology assignments done… As well as studying for an ecology midterm, so I’ll probably be rather productive while at school all of next week! Plus I’m going to be starting to lay out the groundwork for my term paper (due late February) and I’m hoping to get most of it done before my mid-term break, let’s cross my fingers there! But Saturday was my ‘day of rest’ and tomorrow is when I plan on really kick-starting my week where a lot of things are due.

From country bar to the ER

Michelle — Sat, 29 May 2010 19:01:31 +0000

Last night I went out to celebrate the 21st birthday of a very country-music loving girl. It started off well. I got picked up by a super awesome designated driver (C) and there was already another girl in the car (M), who I mistook for the birthday girl because of a) the hair, b) I only saw her from behind because c) the windows were all foggy. We picked up said Birthday Girl (B, only because her letter gets taken and I don’t feel like using numbers…). I can’t remember how many people there was in total (~10?). It started off well.

We got there super early (by early, I mean there was at MOST 10 other people in the bar when we got there at 8pm-ish), B went and got herself a drink, we all sat around a talked, there ended up being more people. I ended up with a drink (yay for vodka…), other tables started being filled.

And then one of B’s friends came with a bunch of boys, people started dancing more, more drinks were ordered. And then this guy sat down next to me. Like right next to me. I thought it was one of those invited boys from an invited person from the group I was with – no such luck.

Let’s call him Julian, because what’s what he said his name was. He started talking about himself. Where he was from, what he did. And then, wouldn’t I like to meet his friend? Doesn’t he look great? Wouldn’t I want to dance with him and did this Julian mention that he was single? Ahh, hilarity ensued. Julian went “So, you look like a smart girl. Right? I mean, that’s what I first noticed about you, you look really smart.” (I wanted to ask if it was the glasses or the Asian thing…) and then I answered back with “Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too.” and that was answered with “You’re very subtle. Very subtle and cute. I like that about you.” And then Julian switched seats with the friend he introduced (Brian). Would I like for him to buy me a drink? Erm, no thank you. He starts talking to me, I try my very best to ignore, but it’s kind of hard when some person is trying to get your attention and putting his arm around your shoulders. Grrr. K rescued me by going “I’m going to the washroom, want to come with me?”. Are there trees in a forest? Hell yes.

I will have to admit – the music was not as bad as I thought it would be (but B, you will never get me to admit it out loud!). It was mostly country (not to my taste) but there were some songs that I did recognize and could sing along with. For instance, Taylor Swift? Yeah, I totally sang along to that and danced a bit to that and to other songs as well. And, erm, yeah, I could recognize songs, but not artists or song titles, oh well!

Awkward Person #1 (Julian) came back with a cowboy hat on and told one of my friends that he bought it just to impress me (a.k.a. he stole it off the head of one of his friends) and so they were going “OMFG, GO FOR IT! HE’S SO CUTE!!!!” (dood, not taking advice from people who aren’t dead sober and that I don’t know how impaired their judgment is when drinking – and he wasn’t cute).

J: You know, if you didn’t have a boyfriend, I would date you.
M: And if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would not date you.
J: You’re a bitch. And sincere. Very sincere. I like that.
M: Right…
J: I bet I could love you if I was dating you.
M: Okay then… *edges further away*

Sometime later, Awkward Person #2 (Brian) was sitting next to me (but not right next to me, so that was okay) and he looked super depressed and was drinking by himself and his friends would come by and try to cheer him up. Oh well… At that point, we decided we would go (it was around 12:30am at this point). We tracked down people, pulled people away from boys that they found (yeah, I’m kind of a killjoy sometimes). Oh Birthday Girl, I’d like to remind you of what you said to that boy while holding onto him. And not letting go.

B: They’re saying I have to go home now… I don’t wanna go home… I don’t wanna go home…

Yeah, lovely. So I got a hold of M, who’s a very cheerful drunk when she’s in a bar and around other people. I pull her out and we’re waiting for the others to get out. And she starts talking about how she wants to walk home (it was lightly drizzling and we live too far to walk). She wants to walk and starts talking about walking home and jumping off the bridge, or oh, there’s a street over there with traffic, she wants to just walk into oncoming traffic. Not cool. She’s taller and bigger than me and had far too much to drink and was trying to fight me to leave. The others come out and we convince her (I’m still not sure how) to get into the car and our lovely designated driver (C!) drives us back to the city that we all live in, yay.

M passes out and then partway home, she starts breathing more audibly and makes crying sounds. The two in the backseat noticed a huge series of cuts on both of her arms. We couldn’t just take her home because she’s a) suicidal and b) lives alone. So we debated for a bit and then drove to the ER at a local hospital. Oh, we also parked in ambulance only parking for a little bit before moving to the 15 minute parking only for patient drop off. Go us. Birthday Girl was awesome, at that point M was a little bit of awake. We debated what we were going to do. Parents were called to let them know where we were – except for mine (my land line was replaced with a ‘internet’ phone that’s connected to the internet and frequently when I call home, I get the “Beep, beep, beep, the number you have dialed is not in service, please check your area code and try your call again.” <- I just select “Home” from my contacts…

None of us really knew M too well (C and B are coworkers, K and I have only met her 2-3 times), I dug through her wallet for a Care Card, but her driver’s license worked well enough for the person handling the triage desk to fill out the paperwork. She was put into the cast room for a while before they got a bed ready for her. We got so many questions asked about her and we just didn’t know a lot of the answers. She was moved when they had an area ready for her

It was maybe 2:30am-ish when K called her dad so she could get a ride home, I got home too. Hugs were given. I got home and just fell into bed after changing into pajamas and was trying to figure out how the night ended up like that.

Since my home phone wasn’t working last night, no one in my house knew anything that was going on. I told my parents when I woke up this morning (…. at 8am, not enough sleep) that the phone just plain sucks and told them about what happened. They said we did the right thing and then my dad goes “Why didn’t you just call though?”. Selective listening ftl.