define('DISALLOW_FILE_EDIT', true); define('DISALLOW_FILE_MODS', true);{"id":3344,"date":"2010-07-01T17:50:57","date_gmt":"2010-07-02T00:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/?p=3344"},"modified":"2010-07-01T18:03:51","modified_gmt":"2010-07-02T01:03:51","slug":"i-saw-this-coming-like-a-predictable-movie-ending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/2010\/07\/01\/i-saw-this-coming-like-a-predictable-movie-ending\/","title":{"rendered":"I saw this coming like a predictable movie ending"},"content":{"rendered":"
D: So I have this friend… D: So I have this friend…*long pause*M: I have friends too!D: *gives me a look* So I have this friend and he has a daughter…*long pause*M: I have friends that have daughters too!D: *gives me another look* And she’s coming to Canada to go to school.M: *can see where this is going* That’s nice.D: And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8],"tags":[81,29,112],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3344"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3344"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3346,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3344\/revisions\/3346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imaginarysunshine.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
*long pause*
M: I have friends too!
D: *gives me a look<\/em>* So I have this friend and he has a daughter…
*long pause*
M: I have friends that have daughters too!
D: *gives me another<\/em> look* And she’s coming to Canada to go to school.
M: *can see where this is going* That’s nice.
D: And she’s going to [insert name of school that I go to]
M: Okay…
D: And she’s going to be starting this September…
M: *can really<\/em> see where this is going* That’s nice. *continues eating*
D: And she’s going to be in first year. She’s going to be in first year science. Just like you!
<\/strong>M: I’m not in first year. *mentally adds “thank you very much”*
D: That doesn’t matter. I want you to be her friend.
M: You want me to what<\/em>?
D: I want you to be her friend. She doesn’t know anyone. So you have to be her best friend here.
M: ‘Have to be’?
D: Yes, you have to be her best friend. She’s my friend’s daughter, so you must treat her well and be her best friend.
M: *looks at dad like he’s gone off his rocker* …
D: I will call him tonight and tell him that you’ve agreed. I will arrange for you two to meet.
M: *wtf look* What?!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"