Filed under: Friends
The best way for me to figure out who is in a relationship is to see if they were carrying: a) a teddy bear, b) a bouquet of dying flowers, c) a large heart-shaped box of chocolates, or d) all of the above. I saw people with flowers everywhere today. I saw a girl carrying this large teddy bear that was practically as big as she was. I saw a girl with a balloon bouquet hovering over her head as she kissed a boy (presumably the one that had given it to her). I witness a guy proposing to his girlfriend on the bus when I was going home today. I saw a lot of kissing, a lot of hugging. I heard a lot of ‘I can’t believe he did that!’ and ‘wow, I can’t believe he gave you something like that!’. I saw a lot of girls who were pleased as punch that they got something ‘just so awesome’ for Valentine’s Day.
What did I get? I got ‘Michelley’s Protection From Icky-Heartbreakin’-Boys Kit’ from Kelsey. Oh yes, we exchanged presents again this year for Single Awareness Day (S.A.D. for those uninitiated). We started exchanging gifts for S.A.D. in grade 11, three years ago. And we’ve kind of stepped up our game in terms of gifts as the years have gone by. This year I gave her a necklace (double stranded, toggle clasp, red glass beads, clear glass beads with silver lining, filigree silver spacers, jump rings, nylon coated wire… I realize that the list of materials makes me sound like a nut, but I like my beading supplies… Note to self: I am running out of the silver flower spacer beads.). In my kit, I received six Trojan ‘Shared Sensation’ lubricated condoms, one cap gun (Without the caps, I’ll go to the dollar store to see how much they are; I’m curious as to how the thing works.) and one mixed cd that is absent of mushy love songs which I am currently listening to. I realize that between everyone giving me condoms, I’m going to end up with a rather large collection for someone who’s not getting any form of action at all. Not really for lack of trying, mind you. I put the condoms I got from Josephina into the same box that I’m keeping the ones from Kelsey. Might as well keep the protection all in the same place. Not quite sure what I’m going to do with them all… Water balloons? Randomly pass them out to people? Go out and have sex? I kind of like the latter, but I might not like myself in the morning (erm… afternoon… evening…).
Hope that everyone had a Happy Single Awareness Day (or Valentine’s Day, if you prefer that title instead) and that you’re all getting more than I am at the moment – because if you are getting less, I really don’t know what to say to that.