Dear spam-bots that end up in my ‘to be moderated’ comments queue & random spam on one of my gmail accounts,

I am not in the need to add several more inches to a certain body part. I never have been, and I never will be. I do not need massive amounts of strong painkillers, seeds to grow my own ‘herbal remedies’ or mail-order Russian brides. I do not need components to build an A-bomb, to be a part of a pyramid scheme or to find a woman who can take two-in-one all at once. I do not need the phone number to the White House, plans to break into a bank vault or ways to keep drug-op hidden from the authorities. I do not need to know how to set up my own brothel, how to hotwire a car or how to rig something to exploded in a lake. I do not need you here nor there, I do not need you anywhere.

Sincerely, Girl Annoyed With Spam