I got this little gem in my inbox today:

Dear Michelle,

How have you been? I’ve been thinking of you lately and have been wondering how you are and where you are right now. I got your email from Tim, who got it from Chantelle who got it from Sam who got it from Lizzie. I’m doing well. I’m currently at VCC and I heard from someone that you’re at UBC so I was thinking of possibly visiting you one day. We haven’t seen each other in 4 years and we should get caught up. I was hoping we could go out for lunch one day, maybe next Wednesday? I can get out to your school by 3pm and I’m hoping that you will be free by then. Looking forward to seeing you.

Love always,
Matthue

Needless to say, I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked that he tracked down my email or annoyed that he wants to ‘catch up’ and see me. I mean, honestly. Things didn’t end well. I found out that he ran around spreading vicious little rumors. I have nothing good that I would want to say to him. Absolutely nothing. I mean, I’m not proud of the fact that I don’t have anything remotely positive to say to him. And so while it would be nice to just shove him into a puddle, I would like to believe that I’m a better person than that. Besides, why would I want to waste time having lunch with him when I could be do other things? Anything else? I could be studying or blogging or reading a novel or getting electroshock therapy. So the following is what I sent to him:

Matthue,
I’m sorry you wasted your time tracking down my email address, but I really don’t care to get caught up with you and I would very much appreciate it if you did not try to contact me again.

– Michelle
PS: I have plans next Wednesday and they do not involve you.