Dear Canada,

Happy 141st birthday. Unfortunately, compared to the majority of the countries in the world, you are still fairly young. In fact, you’re practically like a baby compared to most of the other countries in the world. Your mother, England, was a unified country in 927. Your neighbour to the South declared their independance in 1776, 91 years before you were formed! I mean, if you really want to look like a baby, compare yourself to China, which has had a written history since at least 2100 BCE, making it more than 3876 years older than you are. But if it makes you feel any better, you are 123 years older than I am. See, you’re older than someone. And sure, like everyone else, you’ve got your ups and downs and you definitely have some dark secrets that you probably wish were never let out of that proverbial skeleton closet, but I love you all the same.

After all, you were never given the chance to vote in an election so why should you be blamed for what the politicians of your land do?

Sincerely, Michelle

P.S. I wish they’d stuck to New Caledonia rather than renaming it to British Columbia, you’re not alone.

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