M: Yeah… I’m really exciting sometimes. [sarcasm]
C: Well, I think you are.
M: You’re sweet. But sometimes I wonder what you see in me.
C: Everything.
M: Everything?
C: Everything.

“Excuse me?” This girl who was sitting two seats away from me in my chemistry lecture hall was talking to me. So I look up from my cell phone (mid-text) and from my Sodoku puzzle (that I was nearly complete) and go “Yes?”

Then she smiles at me and goes “Would you happen to have the notes from the lecture on Tuesday?”

A perfect stranger was asking me for my notes so she could copy them because she, for some reason, wasn’t there that day. Now I could have been nice and gave her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she was sick. But I really not a very nice individual to people that I don’t know and nor am I particularly generous to people that I don’t know when there’s about a million other reasons why they could have not been in class on Tuesday. They could have slept in, been really hung over, been drinking in the afternoon, eating a really long lunch, having sex, sleeping in the library during their break, just really didn’t feel like going or decided that their time (for a course that they paid for, in advanced) was better spent doing other things, like burning ants with magnifying glasses or kicking small children.

Either way, I told her that I had them. Her face lit up and her eyes went a little wider, her smile a little more broad.

“Could I borrow them?”

I smiled at her, this fake cheery smile and then I go “No, sorry, I don’t lend my notes out to people that I don’t know. But I’m sure someone will let you see their notes.”

I’m such a bitch sometimes. That being said, I am willing to lend my notes to people that I know and people that I actually believe when they tell me that they’re sick. For example, if M from my biology class were to tell me that he was sick one day and needed notes, I would believe him. Why? Because he’s attended very single biology lecture (that I know of) since I’ve met him and he’s attended every single biology lab (we have the same lab time) since the beginning of the course. Plus he’s a sweetheart and I’d trust him not to lie to me. However, if J from my chemistry class were to tell me that she was sick last Thursday and wanted to see my notes, I’d politely inform her that I don’t have them on me (lies, lies!). Why? Because she’s skipped about half of the lectures so far and we’ve only had eight lectures since the beginning of the term.

I take back the ‘I’m such a bitch sometimes’ comment. It’s more like, I’m practical and generous to those who deserve it.

I just had this conversation with a friend:

J: I think I need help.
M: And you’re just figuring this out now…? Bit on the slow side, J.
J: Not that kind of help!
M: Uh huh. So what do you need help with?
J: You know P? In our class?
M: Yes…?
J: I want to go out with her.
M: Then ask her out?
J: But I don’t know how.
M: Walk up to her and then go “P, I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me for insert date event here”.
J: I can’t just do that!
M: Umm, yeah, you can. You did that to C last term, remember?
J: And remember what happened after?
M: Oh yeah (laughter) she pointed out her engagement ring to you. Still don’t know how you missed it. (laughter)
J: You can stop laughing now…
M: Oh come on, it was hilarious. Anyways, just ask P out. Or would you like me to ask her if she’s engaged first before you do?
J: Engaged, married, into girls, already in a relationship that I can’t talk her out of…
M: You’re going to owe me.
J: Don’t I already?
M: Yeah… I’ll ask on Friday, show up to class late like you normally do or something.
J: I love you, you’re the best.
M: Wow, professing love, you really must be into her.
J: Have you checked her out?
M: Umm… I can safely say that I haven’t looked at her like that.
J: You’re missing out!
M: … Right. Anyways, I’m going to go now.
J: Okay, thanks again!
M: I want cupcakes on Friday. And that icing recipe that you refuse to give me!