I don’t have any labs until next week (9am-12pm on Tuesday and 9:30am-12:30pm on Thursday) hence the fact that I’m not at school yet (class at 1pm) and the fact that I’m blogging.
I was just musing while I was saying hi to a friend over msn. And I was just wondering. If I had the chance to look into my own future, would I? Like if I was sat down and all I had to do was lift a sheet off of a cosmic television screen and watch my own life play out right in front of my eyes, would I take it? Would I want to know if I’m happy in five years? Would I want to know ahead of time if I’m making the right choice with what I want to do with the rest of my life? Would I want to know if I’m still friends with the people I know and love or would I rather not know in the event that we aren’t? Would I want to know if I have the 2.3 children, a white picket fence, a small two-story house in the middle of the suburbs with a cat? Would I want to know if and how everything I do right now affects my future and what kind of consequences it has?
I thought about it. I did. I thought about how things would be different, how I would attempt to change things if I knew how things played out in the end. I mean, what if that isn’t supposed to be my future, but once I decide to look, it changes to the reflect the fact that I do see it and then all the changes I make in order to avoid it leads me straight to disaster? This is possibly too much thought processing for 9:34am on a lovely Thursday morning, I apologize to myself for that.
I would love to say that I wouldn’t want to look, that I wouldn’t want to peek and see if wanting to go into nursing was the right thing to do, or see if I end up writing a bestselling novel. I would love to say that I would be content not knowing. But, if I was given the chance to see, I’m not sure that I wouldn’t take a peek. Curiosity does win over sometimes. Then again, I don’t know. Probably because there isn’t such a thing as a cosmic television set or a working crystal ball – probably a good thing, in the event that I ruin my own future.