I was having a conversation with one of my friends online and she was suggesting the idea that, since she can’t find a boyfriend, she ought to consider marrying a tank of fish. Which, was a joke, of course. I’m pretty sure she can’t do that (although if I remember correctly, wasn’t there some woman who married a dolphin before? Legally?) in most countries in the world. Legally, anyways. Which gets turned into a conversation about the requirements that both of our fathers have for us. About guys, obviously (not fish). And I told her something that one of my closest friends told me once:
If your dad wants a guy to have all these really awesome, really great qualities… What do you bring to the table that’s unique from all the other girls who have dads telling them the exact same requirements?
The answer (for me anyways): not a whole hell of a lot. I say that very tongue-in-cheek, by the way.
And the above is sort of related with a conversation with I had with my two sisters. My dad’s been putting the pressure on D to get a job (… since she’s been home for all of a week and a half? And she’s been job searching the entire time?). And on both D and J to ‘go out and find a nice boy’. In those exact words (only translated). While I’ve always looked up to my sisters because they were a) older and b) had grades a million times better than I did (a fact, of course, that my parents brought up every single report card from grades 4 to 12). My sisters were saying how it’s incredibly unrealistic for my dad to suddenly expect them to start dating after years and years of telling them not to. Which is probably why that the parents have given me permission to go forth and make ‘new friends’ – with the prospect of dating them, of course. I can’t help but feel restricted by the wishlist of requirements that they have though. Like I’m supposed to be mentally ticking things off in my head whenever I meet someone? Uh, no thanks? I mean, most of the time I can’t even remember most of the things that they’ve told me to look for. Mostly because I don’t care.
My sisters are rather happy that I’m not turning out to be some kind of mindless drone and thinking for myself, rather than buying into my dad’s talk (apparently they had been worried for a while because I spend the most time around the parents out of the three of us). Well, being a non-mindless drone who hides things from her parents – but that’s okay too! And you know what the weird thing is? They told me that they look up to me for not being socially inept like they are, and also for being confident.
Words I would not use to describe myself, but to each their own.
Just one question for today:
- What kind of, if any, unrealistic expectations do your parents have for the person that you are or should be dating/engaged to/married to?
I look forward to reading the responses to that.