There’s a moment when you realize what that pit in your stomach is. There’s a moment when you’re blinking away tears and trying not to fall apart in the middle of a class, or a lab, or while you’re sitting with your friends and trying to laugh at another stupid joke. There’s a moment when you daydream and think about what the next week is going to look like, how things are going to unfold. There’s a moment when you smile, when you frown, when you cry, when you brush your hair back and just breathe. I can be so needlessly jealous sometimes and while I realize that is needless and that it’s a stupid emotion to be dealing with and that I shouldn’t even be thinking of it. I shouldn’t. But yet, I do. Because there’s a pit in my stomach that’s completely emotion-related and nothing to do with a physical pit (thank goodness). And while I’m aware of what it is, it still doesn’t make it go away. And it doesn’t make things particularly easier.
I recognize the vagueness in my writing. And… that’s okay.
Because we all know that the moment that we say exactly what we’re thinking, exactly what we’re feeling… It all becomes a lot more real.
I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy today (working on organic chemistry problems, writing notes for one of my biology class, adding my notes and work to a partnered-project for yet another class). Goodness knows just how well that worked, considering my trains of thought right now.
But in other news… Have you seen the clothing line for the 2010 Canadian Olympic team yet? I’m kinda coveting one of those sweaters, but the prices are a lot ridiculous. Considering, well, it’s more than likely to be machine knit (not hand knit!) and priced at over $300. It’s a little ridiculous, yes?