The morning after (sort of)

Written on October 25, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Filed under: Clay, Family, Shopping with tags: , ,

@ Dane – No, my parents don’t know that I’m dating Clay. There’s quite a few reasons for this, actually. He works at the same company as my mom (which is how I met him). He’s older than me (a little over 5 years). He doesn’t have a post secondary degree. But all in all, that all pales in the face of the fact that he’s not Asian. More importantly, he’s not Chinese and he can’t speak Cantonese or Mandarin. And that’s a really big thing to my fatherĀ  (and secondarily, my mom – although I think she’d rather I be happy than married to someone ‘perfect’ who makes my life a living hell). I’d tell them about it for a number of reasons. If the relationship gets serious (i.e. engagement rings, moving in together), then I’d tell them about it. I would certainly tell them before getting married because my mom’s already convinced that I’m going to get married to someone and not tell her or invite her to the wedding. Which kind of says volumes about the kind of relationship that I have with my parents. It’s not a perfect situation, but then nothing ever really is. I mean, even with a relationship half-assed detailed in a blog, I still can’t tell you when the relationship really started. Was it the day that I asked him out? Was it the day that he kissed me? Or maybe it was the day of the first hug, or the first date, or the first text message. I just don’t know. And I don’t think I’d very much like to explain a relationship to my parents (with him present) if at any given moment, they could ask “So when did you two start seeing each other?” and one of us answers with May 10th and the other with September 7th.

@ Georgina – I possibly said some really mean stuff last night. But then again… I haven’t seen him for 7 weeks. And yeah… If you read back in my blog, you’ll realize that we average probably around one argument maybe every two weeks? Well lately it’s been more like three, but still. We have arguments often. Usually he’s the one saying that he’s sorry though… because usually I’m pissed at him for canceling on me. But…

I stayed up until 3am or so talking to him last night. I didn’t log off my computer until about 2:45am. I apologized (nicely, might I add). He apologized as well (for just being a general ass). And we talked things through and just really explained how we felt to the other party. And it was a good conversation. He’s feeling pressure at work because he’s known for a while that he’s going to have a shitload of new responsibilities as he’s going to be running the shift once R leaves work. Plus, he’s playing World of Warcraft (… silly, silly, stupid boy). He misses me, but things come up. There’s birthdays and car emergencies that belong to his best friend. And there’s video games and movies and family nights. And I get it, I do. He’s like superglued to his family and that’s nice. It’s like a Hallmark greeting card. I never had the loving family experience that he’s had and he’s close to them – and while I do understand that, and he knows that I understand that, I did spend the better part of half an hour completely talking about how it’s ridiculous and I either need to become a higher priority or he can have a nice life. Ultimatums are unfair, they are. But at least they get his ass in gear as we’re currently planning on seeing each other next weekend (and then weekend after is my birthday party and he knows that I want him there). So we’ll see.

And the more mundane part of my day:

I went to bed at around 3am. Woke up at 7am to go shopping with my mother. We bought this cordless phones set (4 handsets, 3 chargers, 1 charger-answering machine combo) for $100. We did some grocery shopping, I went to the library to pick up my hold. Later, we headed out to an outlet store before going to the airport to pick up my sister. I ended up getting three hoodies for under $25, which was fairly decent, I thought. There’s a pink one that I absolutely loved and it fit nicely too (it’s light pink with a cherry print all over it). I also got a plain navy blue one that was very snuggly and a light turquoise hoodie that has small white polka dots all over it. My mom ended up getting a dress suit for $20 (came with a jacket, a skirt and a pair of pants).

I ended up catching up on my psychology notes. All I have left to do (‘all’, hah) is biology notes, a biology assignment and two family studies assignments. And I want to get it all done by Sunday evening. I’m definitely crossing my fingers.

2 Responses to “The morning after (sort of)”

  1. Georgina says:

    WOOT for books! And I would be looking for good prices for those pliers too. I used to watch my family friend make jewellery and she’d complain about how it was so expensive to keep the shop going.

    Sometimes my ears get all sore and puffy if I change my earrings too much so I try not to. Wheeee I love stuffed animals :3

    I can see how you wouldn’t tell your parents. Usually I get the same questions too. How? Why? When? What’s he like? Doo dee doo. Though my parents seem to like James (especially my mum, woohoo). They hated my exes probably because they were either rude to them or just seemingly rude to me. But I hate how James hasn’t told his parents after sddhdhddhhhhhh.. nearly nine months. He’s gonna take me to meet them after the exams but it’s a wonder how people can keep relationships secret from their parents for so long.

    I told my mum because I find it hard to lie to her, but I obviously don’t tell her some of the stuff that I do that she definitely wouldn’t like..

    It’s quite funny how you can’t pick a date when things started. With my ex, I counted from the day we sort of decided to ‘go out’ (hmm), but we never actually hugged or even talked properly till two weeks later. But yes, it certainly makes sense to tell your parents if moving in/engagement comes in. I still get annoyed how my mum goes and tells me to marry someone Indonesian. Ewurghhh. After going to Indonesia and seeing the perverts and freaks; NO.

    Hopefully things go to plan and you DO see each other. Like, finallyyyyyyy. It’s great that you can still sort of stand each other arguing :3

    I’ll cross my fingers for you. So much stuff.. zgah, I hate writing notes. Blehhh. Good luck =3

  2. Jenna says:

    It’s okay.I wouldn’t tell my parents at first either, actually more like I wouldn’t inform my grandmother, or father because my Dad would murder him, and my grandmother would be all like “NEXT TIME WE COME DOWN. HE HAS TO COME TO DINNER WITH US, OR MEET ME. OR ELSE I DON’T THINK HE’S WORTHY OF YOU!”

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