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6 Responses

  1. Wow, it’s hard to believe that so many people covered up for him. The whole situation.. Yikes. Not too sure what to say!
    I’m glad your school and hospital shifts are going well, and that you’re out and about with friends, school, twitter, blogging, etc. <3

  2. I can’t believe that people covered up for him, either. 🙁 This is just awful beyond belief. I can’t believe he, as well as other people you/he knew, kept this from you for so long.

    I was going to say, I find it surprising that you’re considering forgiving him at all, but I realised I have had my fair share of relationship complications involving cheating, and James and I are still well and good despite what’s happened, but I know it will be really hard to come to a decision no matter how strong your feelings are for him. I hope that whatever decision you make, he won’t be such a … ugh. Fingers crossed the results come out okay. <3 <3

  3. It’s a hard situation and I really feel for you – there are never really easy answers when it comes to emotions, feelings, and the amount of time you’ve spent with him.

    But if it was me, I wouldn’t be thinking about the good times of the past four years and how difficult it will be to let that go…I would be thinking about how all of that was a lie and that he LIED to you for four years. That’s not someone who deserves your time, commitment or love.

  4. I’m so sorry Michelle. I would support you no matter what decision you make, I wish nothing but happiness for you, but I would feel like a really bad friend if I didn’t tell you that you deserve so much better than this. I could understand a couple resolving cheating but what Clay did to you was so much worse… He does not deserve your forgiveness. I think about the times you wrote being upset about cancelled plans, and other things but I don’t think you need me to point them out… What exactly is holding you back from making your choice? The history you have with him is built on deception, pretty much from the start. I’m so sorry and I hope I’m not coming across as pushy.. I will honestly be supportive either way but I do not believe he is worthy of you.

  5. I hope your tests come back clean! Hopefully in a week or so, that’ll be something you can tick off and not have to worry about.

    It’s terrible that people covered for him. But, you know. Not that I would ever do that, but I do sort of understand. I know people who covered for someone for lots of reasons. They felt like it wasn’t really their business, the guilty party told them they were sorting it out and doing it in their own time, and even years down the line, the guilty party insisted to let them sort it out themselves. They saw someone ignorant, but happy, and didn’t want to be the one to make them unhappy. The longer they leave it, the more crappy they feel about never mentioning it, and so the harder it is to tell the truth.

    Urgh I’m not defending their decision, it was a bad decision, but I hope that it doesn’t ruin your friendships because at the end of the day, they didn’t cheat on you, so I hope you can make peace with them eventually. (When I found out pretty much everyone who knew my family were keeping my mum’s affair under wraps (not so much from me, but from my dad) I was determined to hate every single person for doing that, but then it actually amounted to everyone. It was not a sustainable anger.)

    I honestly can’t begin to fathom why he did this? Like, how did he expect this to end?! It’s not like he even identifies as polyamorous (is it?) because even then there’s still a need for honesty and just, wow, I can’t wrap my head around how he thought this would work out. I think the best word for his behaviour is probably childish. I don’t think he’s been deliberately cruel or malicious, just childish and selfish. Which is something, I guess.

    Only you know the situation and your feelings and his personality, but I’m kind of with Sioux. I know you’re not asking for our input really but I’d feel bad if I didn’t say, I think he really fucked up and I’m not sure it’s ok.

    I’m sorry. You’re just a really wonderful person and deserve the best.

    On a happier note, yay for school! 😀 You’re going to be the best nurse ever. I would let you test my thyroid function any day ;D

  6. Oh honey. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. 🙁 I just don’t understand how he could let this go on for four years. It is just so unfair to you.

    I will support you with whatever decision you make…because I know it can’t be an easy one.

    I hope all of your tests come back negative. How scary. 🙁 🙁 🙁

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