My sister and I were sitting at the kitchen table. We were eating pistachios (so yum) and my parents walk in and ask us what we’re talking about. I just smile and look up at them and go “Talking about how when I get married, it’s going to be on this teeny tiny beach where only three people can stand.”
My dad just stared at me for a moment and I could just see his jaw moving a touch before he could say something and then he goes “You need witnesses.” That question was easy.
“Well, obviously you’re going to need to learn how to scuba dive. Or how to row a boat. See, after the ceremony is over on this teeny tiny island, we’ll go and live in this submarine for the rest of our natural born lives and have mermaid children. Who will eventually get caught in fishing nets and my husband and I will be really sad about it and then we’ll decide to retire from living in a submarine and end up living in an overly congested city. Like London, or something and we’ll sell our life stories to a major publishing company and live off the royalties from that until someone exhumes the mermaid children’s bodies and realize that we just superglued their scuba outfits to their bodies and attached a sparkly sequined tail to it and then we’ll get thrown in jail and you’ll read about us on the evening news while and wonder whatever happened to your daughter.”
I said this all in one breath and with a smile on my face.
By the end, my parents and sister could not stop laughing and (once he could talk again) my dad told me that I was going to be a lot of trouble to some guy one day.