[Dane – Did it have a BLYTHE on it? Because if it did, I’m sure I would love it.]

Hello world, it’s Friday! </cheerfulness>

Today’s been an odd day, overall. So was last night. I was in tears sometime after 10pm because school’s been just overwhelming so far. Organic chemistry, my two biology classes, knowing the general GPA that I should have just to past the first ‘stage’ of application process for the nursing program that I want to get into next September… It’s stressful. I’d love to say that I feel that I can do it and that I will do well in my classes this term but suddenly I’m not so sure.

So my brain essentially went into “panic mode” and I started looking up LPN (Licensed Practical Nursing) programs in the province. A simple Google search came up with so many of them and I’ve already decided which schools that I’ll be applying too as well as the RN (Registered Nursing) programs (RN = Bachelors degree). But it’s basically my “backup” plan to everything… Since I’ve decided ages ago (and I’m sticking to it!) that I want to be a nurse. I have no interest in doing a degree in business or biology or chemistry or physics (BLEH! Nothing against to all you that love physics!) or math/stats or psychology or English or anything… Both of my sisters did their degrees in sciences (biology and pharmacology) and they do lab work. 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week. And they both realize that their degrees don’t lend much to doing much besides research and clinical trials. They realize this. I don’t want to work in a lab for essentially my entire adult working life. It doesn’t interest me. However, what I do want to do is become a nurse (RN, preferably, but I’ll do a LPN program if I don’t get into a RN program at a school that I really want to go to).

I’ve been volunteering at the place that I refer to as “Volunteering” since early last September (so just over a year now). It’s at a long term care facility (they prefer that to “old folks home” or “seniors home”. And I like working with the residents there. I like engaging with people and talking to the RCA (Resident Care Aides) that work there. They all seem to love what they’re doing. And, honestly, I want to do something that I want to do for a career. And my parents don’t think that I’m all that serious about wanting to go into nursing. My father pushes me to become a doctor instead (just no…) and I know he’d want me to complete my degree. Which I may or may not do. I mean, I like the school that I attend, the only reason I accepted my spot there in 2007 was because I wanted to attend that school and because I wanted to get into their nursing program. I wanted that back in 2007, I wanted that back when I was 13 and in grade 8 and having to come up with a ‘career’ to present to my class, and I still want that now. This school and that program have basically been my goal for ages now.

I’ll be able to start the application process this term and now that the ‘moment’ is almost here, it’s kind of daunting, you know? It’s been a dream to attend that program and this school for years and years and years and suddenly everything matters. The courses that I took in my second term last school year? They count. The classes that I’m currently taking? They count. I would have opted not to take organic chemistry and cell biology, but in the (unlikely) event that I continue with a General Sciences degree, I need them for upper level courses. Which sucks, for sure, but I do like some aspects of my courses. And I’m taking a psychology course as an elective  (although I’ve already gone pass my ‘minimum number of Arts credits’).

So I’ve decided that it’s going to be very much a ‘take it one day at a time’. Keep up with studying, I’m not really caring about my chemistry assignments anymore… It’s worth 5% of my final grade (87% = 2 midterms + 1 final… Yeah, I know.) and the program that we’re using (from the textbook publisher) is incredibly nit-picky. Much more nit-picky than TAs would be in marking (the TAs even mentioned this on the discussion boards!) so I’m going to be doing the assignments (on paper, at the very least) and attempting to input them into the program, but if it doesn’t work… I’m not going to have ’22 tries’ for a problem… It’s just not worth the time.

But my first aid course is tomorrow! And I have an online quiz to work on (7 problems, whoot) for chemistry (oh, fun) for Sunday. So just going to go off and read and then do some reading for psychology.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend that’s full of productivity and fun.

4 Responses

  1. -poke- yes, it does 😀 now, how to send it to you…

    You know, I used to freak out over not being able to succeed and reach my goals. When I was 13. When I transferred high schools, something happened… I just… stopped caring. You know? Like, I wanted it but not as much as I did before. For a year or so I wanted the easy way out: get married and let my husband work while I man the fort – I mean home. Yeah, totally unrealistic 😛 but now I’m getting back to where I used to be, actually wanting it.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that you want it enough, you’re trying your best, and you’re doing everything you have to do to get it. You can do it, Michelle, so there’s no need to panic and worry needlessly. You’re more than capable of achieving your goals.

  2. always take it one day at a time its so much easier on you that way. but it is hard to do..
    i hope you had fun at your first aid thingy 🙂
    i’m just sitting around playing keep davids brother from spending the night as usual.

  3. Aww, hun. I’m sorry that your classes have been overwhelming. Just keep sticking to what you’re doing. Take it one day and one step at a time. I know you can do it. Just don’t overburden yourself!! *hugs*

  4. I say go for the UBC program. It’s your dream! I think you’ll be happier attending the school you want than some back up.

    Go for it. You can do it.

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