Last night I went out to celebrate the 21st birthday of a very country-music loving girl. It started off well. I got picked up by a super awesome designated driver (C) and there was already another girl in the car (M), who I mistook for the birthday girl because of a) the hair, b) I only saw her from behind because c) the windows were all foggy. We picked up said Birthday Girl (B, only because her letter gets taken and I don’t feel like using numbers…). I can’t remember how many people there was in total (~10?). It started off well.

We got there super early (by early, I mean there was at MOST 10 other people in the bar when we got there at 8pm-ish), B went and got herself a drink, we all sat around a talked, there ended up being more people. I ended up with a drink (yay for vodka…), other tables started being filled.

And then one of B’s friends came with a bunch of boys, people started dancing more, more drinks were ordered. And then this guy sat down next to me. Like right next to me. I thought it was one of those invited boys from an invited person from the group I was with – no such luck.

Let’s call him Julian, because what’s what he said his name was. He started talking about himself. Where he was from, what he did. And then, wouldn’t I like to meet his friend? Doesn’t he look great? Wouldn’t I want to dance with him and did this Julian mention that he was single? Ahh, hilarity ensued. Julian went “So, you look like a smart girl. Right? I mean, that’s what I first noticed about you, you look really smart.” (I wanted to ask if it was the glasses or the Asian thing…) and then I answered back with “Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too.” and that was answered with “You’re very subtle. Very subtle and cute. I like that about you.” And then Julian switched seats with the friend he introduced (Brian). Would I like for him to buy me a drink? Erm, no thank you. He starts talking to me, I try my very best to ignore, but it’s kind of hard when some person is trying to get your attention and putting his arm around your shoulders. Grrr. K rescued me by going “I’m going to the washroom, want to come with me?”. Are there trees in a forest? Hell yes.

I will have to admit – the music was not as bad as I thought it would be (but B, you will never get me to admit it out loud!). It was mostly country (not to my taste) but there were some songs that I did recognize and could sing along with. For instance, Taylor Swift? Yeah, I totally sang along to that and danced a bit to that and to other songs as well. And, erm, yeah, I could recognize songs, but not artists or song titles, oh well!

Awkward Person #1 (Julian) came back with a cowboy hat on and told one of my friends that he bought it just to impress me (a.k.a. he stole it off the head of one of his friends) and so they were going “OMFG, GO FOR IT! HE’S SO CUTE!!!!” (dood, not taking advice from people who aren’t dead sober and that I don’t know how impaired their judgment is when drinking – and he wasn’t cute).

J: You know, if you didn’t have a boyfriend, I would date you.
M: And if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would not date you.
J: You’re a bitch. And sincere. Very sincere. I like that.
M: Right…
J: I bet I could love you if I was dating you.
M: Okay then… *edges further away*

Sometime later, Awkward Person #2 (Brian) was sitting next to me (but not right next to me, so that was okay) and he looked super depressed and was drinking by himself and his friends would come by and try to cheer him up. Oh well… At that point, we decided we would go (it was around 12:30am at this point). We tracked down people, pulled people away from boys that they found (yeah, I’m kind of a killjoy sometimes). Oh Birthday Girl, I’d like to remind you of what you said to that boy while holding onto him. And not letting go.

B: They’re saying I have to go home now… I don’t wanna go home… I don’t wanna go home…

Yeah, lovely. So I got a hold of M, who’s a very cheerful drunk when she’s in a bar and around other people. I pull her out and we’re waiting for the others to get out. And she starts talking about how she wants to walk home (it was lightly drizzling and we live too far to walk). She wants to walk and starts talking about walking home and jumping off the bridge, or oh, there’s a street over there with traffic, she wants to just walk into oncoming traffic. Not cool. She’s taller and bigger than me and had far too much to drink and was trying to fight me to leave. The others come out and we convince her (I’m still not sure how) to get into the car and our lovely designated driver (C!) drives us back to the city that we all live in, yay.

M passes out and then partway home, she starts breathing more audibly and makes crying sounds. The two in the backseat noticed a huge series of cuts on both of her arms. We couldn’t just take her home because she’s a) suicidal and b) lives alone. So we debated for a bit and then drove to the ER at a local hospital. Oh, we also parked in ambulance only parking for a little bit before moving to the 15 minute parking only for patient drop off. Go us. Birthday Girl was awesome, at that point M was a little bit of awake. We debated what we were going to do. Parents were called to let them know where we were – except for mine (my land line was replaced with a ‘internet’ phone that’s connected to the internet and frequently when I call home, I get the “Beep, beep, beep, the number you have dialed is not in service, please check your area code and try your call again.” <- I just select “Home” from my contacts…

None of us really knew M too well (C and B are coworkers, K and I have only met her 2-3 times), I dug through her wallet for a Care Card, but her driver’s license worked well enough for the person handling the triage desk to fill out the paperwork. She was put into the cast room for a while before they got a bed ready for her. We got so many questions asked about her and we just didn’t know a lot of the answers. She was moved when they had an area ready for her

It was maybe 2:30am-ish when K called her dad so she could get a ride home, I got home too. Hugs were given. I got home and just fell into bed after changing into pajamas and was trying to figure out how the night ended up like that.

Since my home phone wasn’t working last night, no one in my house knew anything that was going on. I told my parents when I woke up this morning (…. at 8am, not enough sleep) that the phone just plain sucks and told them about what happened. They said we did the right thing and then my dad goes “Why didn’t you just call though?”. Selective listening ftl.